The “Dolphin” spotted on Jupiter by NASA’s Juno spacecraft during a flyby conducted on 29th October 2018
My cat gets really excited when I carry stuff. It doesn’t really matter what…
Zombie apocalypses are curiously lacking a large array of common equipment that could neatly control the situation.
“But we can’t build walls to contain them!”
Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty they’re in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies can’t move them. Plus they’re nice and wide so you can comfortably walk on top of them for patrols.
“But we don’t have easy ways to kill them!”
Put the shotgun down you fucking idiot.
No tires to pop. Heavy and slow but inevitable. Climbing required to enter and thus, relatively zombie proof, especially if you spend like an hour to protect the glass.
A lot of large farming equipment can destroy cars.
Want to guess what it’d do to a decaying human body? It’s not pretty.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Merely flattening them with common construction equipment or farming gear isn’t enough.
How about a
tree trimmer that can mulch a tree top to bottom in nothing flat?
OM NOM NOM NOM.
“But we need ways to move a lot of people that zombies can’t stop!”
BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER. Deer don’t have a chance and neither does a zombie.
“But that’s not good enough!”
NOW it’s time to call our friend the military because this ride stops for no one.
Do I need to keep going or is it clear the movies are bullshit yet? Seriously a dozen prepared people with heavy equipment licenses could clear an entire street of zombies AND powerwash it after.
Country folk can survive
Dude stack those connexes up and you got a sweet home. Lived and worked outta one for a year.
I didn’t expect that
This makes me uncomfortable
Big boy
i’m fairly confident the reason everyone assumes Curiosity is about the size of a dog is because informal NASA press (and by extension, the general culture of people who care abt what NASA’s up to) talks about Curiosity like it is, in fact, an unusually smart and self-aware pet, and i think that’s beautiful.
I mean it’s also literally called rover
You can literally make anything and anyone problematic if you try hard enough seriously give me people and things and I’ll make them all “problematic” right now.
I don’t even have to do this one because PETA did it first by insinuating domestication is inherently abusive.
The sky
Used to trick and mock anyone who asks “what’s up?” A bullying tactic.
Super Mario Bros.
Stereotypes Italians, enforces the narrative of women who need men to rescue them, and encourages violence against turtles.
John Mulaney
He was over on the bench and he SAW what they did to Tyler and he did NOTHING.
Pokemon
Making your pets fight repeatedly is animal abuse.
OP literally argued that dogs were problematic but go off I guess
This is a work of art and should be sent to everyone as soon as they sign up for Tumblr so they know what they’re walking into
Magnificent
This is never not funny
rebloggin’ cause that is the actual look on my face when that happens
trying out passwords
For context, I’m running a homebrew Pathfinder campaign loosely based off the Bionicle universe - in that a lot of the wildlife and natives are half-constructs.
The players are fighting a mechanical scorpion, when the human Warpriest gets caught in its grip.
DM (me): As the scorpion raises its tail to sting you, you see that it doesn’t have a stinger - it has a sword instead.
Warpriest (in character): Holy shit it has a sword for a tail. Guys, isn’t that so cool?!
He would continue to rant about how awesome this thing was (he was a demon slayer before, and hadn’t had many dealings with technology) and after combat, he had the ranger help him turn the stinger in to a khopesh. Here’s hoping he causes more shenanigans with it.
Please look at the contestants for the upcoming season of The Bachelor and laugh with me.
Show us your cloning lab, The Bachelor.
Orcs Are Cute
A campaign on sea. My druid became infatuated with the Orcish captain. After sending her letters for months she finally gained the courage to ask the captain out. She bought her a gift and came up to her in her captains quarters.
“Why are you giving me this” said the captain.
“Oh” casts water breathing “because I’m very gay” She jumped out the window and stayed at the bottom of the ocean for an hour.
They ended up getting very drunk, and became an utterly cutely gross couple.